salam…
emptiness is filling me… i don’t know how but that is what i feel… i am still fragile when the thought of amin being away. it is hard for me. we met on saturday. and we both put aside of ‘distance’ thing and enjoy the day like we used to. me in the bookshop, then bowling then we had ice cream or waffles… things like that. we ended our date with ice cream this time. our favorite is the plain McDonald’s ice cream. he finished his first and looked at me. or stared. may be. he took out his hp and started taking my picture. i smiled and posed. it was a long pause. so i asked him, ‘are you recording me?’
he smiled. ‘how is it like when i was not here?’ he asked me.
i chuckled. then i was about to break into tears. ‘don’t ask me that question when you know the answer…’ i said and wiped the streaming tears away. then i smiled.
i thought i was strong. deep down, i am not…
‘Ya Allah! Aku ini hamba yang kalah. Balunlah hatiku yang terbelah, juga terpisah-pisah. Ya Allah, hanya padaMu aku mengharap, dan padaMu jualah aku meminta, tabahkanlah hatiku…’ – petikan Kiamat Sudah Dekat.
